Hiking Monster

Jon and I went to the Grand Canyon yesterday. Stunning, astounding, breathtaking? Yes. Hordes of foreign tourists? Hell yes! But otherwise bliss? Well...

You see, the problem was that we decided to go for a hike. Or rather my sly little eyes picked out a minute little trail running down the side of an otherwise sheer cliff, and the rest of me started jumping up and down, pointing and making animal noises, demanding that we MUST go do this. You see, I've been stuck in a car for two weeks. I have so much pent up energy/ so many calories to burn from the lovely lovely lovely amazing food I've encountered this entire trip that I'm on the brink of doing spontaneous jumping jacks. Or perhaps... even... going RUNNING. Ugh.

So, the idea of the hike would have been lovely, except for two things. Firstly-- I turn brighter red than a tomato at the sound of the word exercise. I thought about that for a second, realised that Jon would probably have to see me in rapid motion at some point in our relationship, and that after eleven months, I was a silly goose to worry about it. The second, and more important problem was that I did a semester course backpacking with NOLS. NOLS is short for National Outdoor Leadership School, and, not surprisingly, it trains you to be a leader in the outdoors. I thought I hadn't gotten anything out of it, leadership-wise, focusing instead on the glory of having spent three months backpacking and rock climbing in Wyoming, Utah and South Dakota, but apparently, when mixed with my closet control-freak and brought out onto the hiking trail, I become a regular little drill sergeant. I dictated water breaks, always pushing for the next switch-back. I timed the entire hike, and was ecstatic when we made it five minutes under the recommended time, counting said water-breaks and occasional scenery-looking breaks (always surreptitiously huffing under my breath at how LONG Jon was taking to look at the damn view.) I was quietly happy when we passed people on the way back up, and mentally mocked them for being... tired from the incredibly steep ascent. I became strangely competitive when two excessively fit Aussies passed us on the trail. Jon kept an amused smile during all my dictatorial antics, only finally succumbing and bursting into laughter when we were in the grocery store, planning for today's hike, and I suggested we should each carry a bottle of Gatorade on top of the 4 liters of water I had insisted on. He replied that it was perhaps an unnecessary precaution. I turned to him, planted my hands on my hips and stated: "Sweat. Electrolytes."

We both managed to keep our faces straight for three whole minutes.

In other news, I am knitting this in Elspeth Lavold Silky Wool instead of the recommended merino and my knitting has miraculously stopped sucking and started being awesome! Hurray!