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the colours in your head


Jon went home yesterday, and I must confess I find myself at a bit of a loose end without him. Not that it's unpleasant to be on my own again, but I'm a little thrown off, I must say. I went grocery shopping yesterday, and marvelled at the possibility that my cart could contain just bread, cheese, smoked fish, pickles and fruit. No manly quantities of sugary cereal. No Belgian waffles. No juice or applesauce. Yes, I confess, I finally gave in to the combined voices of my Italian stepgrandmother and my soul-food cooking grandmother and fed my man. The results? Happy, sluggish, asked for thirds. I couldn't be more smug about my mad skillz. He couldn't be more amused that his girlfriend turns out to have a domestic side, despite upbringing and outward appearances. I can... make beds! And... wash dishes, too! And even IRON! And am even willing to do so, if I am allowed to make some rather stern speeches about how that now that he's going to be living on his own, he really needs to learn to do the washing-up.

Anyway, my fifties housewife side aside, having him around was quite blissful. I got to play tourguide and show off my Russian (mercifully helped along by the fact that he couldn't understand my errors), and we actually got to explore some places that I hadn't been to before. Having him here managed to put a firm erasure on the parts of last year that needed that, while highlighting and expanding my mental city map.

But anyway, now he's gone, and I am at a loose end. This will have been that we spend a chunk of time in one location for the next few months, at least, which is a slightly scary possibility, because, when it comes down to it, I rather like the fellow. I'm not really sure that I could have spent this much time this summer without a.) killing them b.) dismembering them or c.) retreating into a catatonic state where I do nothing but mumble to myself and stare blankly at books, while drooling slightly. And, much as option c. contains many attractive traits for a girlfriend, I'm sure he's glad that I found that we fit, as well.

But regardless, I've been getting back into The Society of Others, which is slightly odd, not because I was really lacking in it, but because I need to restructure friendships with people that we had as a duo, and also because I need to compensate for:
-the multilinguality of this environment
-the fact that people come and go so quickly, so dynamics are always shifting
-the fact that there is a creepy old French man quietly stalking me

Regardless, things are good. I have two new roommates, from Spain, who seem rather lovely. One is so physically lovely, as well as of the same general looks group that I belong to, except more in many respects (tanner skin, blacker hair, bigger boobs) that I wasn't, shall we say, projecting all my friendliest of vibes while my boy was around. Yes, I grew up in Italy, and I am mistrustful of women. Now that he's gone, however, she's turned out to be cool, and I'm happy in the fact that I'm taller and have better skin.

Also, I've befriended in part some French (ok, one of them is Swiss, but...) girls in my class, with the result that with them (as one of them doesn't know English) I end up speaking a confused Franco-Russo garble, much to their amusement.

Anyway, I am out of time and so am off to stroll through the lovely streets, and then eat cheese, crackers and vast amounts of chocolate in bed while watching a trashy movie. All while wearing granny panties, with my hair in a ponytail. Sometimes, it's simply lovely not to have one's boyfriend around.


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