I just stumbled upon The Guardian's Bad Sex Award. It's an award given to the worst sex scenes to be found in a book, and excerpts from the winning entry, as well as a long list of runners-up, are posted. Truly genius.

On that theme, my friend Jasmin and I once tried to write a sex scene for a story once, back in ninth grade, rendered interesting by the fact that I had never kissed a boy at that point, and Jasmin, though she was whoring it around by my school's standards, had actually only ever gone to third base. *GASP!* Bear in mind that there were 32 people in my highschool back in Italy. Anyway, Jasmin found a contest online, looking for a sex scene or something, and as we were doing the whole angstier than thou thing, and it was a Sunday, so we couldn't be all cool and go mope around downtown, we decided to write it. Seems it was full of throbbings and such-- cribbed right out of Harlequin. Alas, another profession slipped through my grasp.