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the colours in your head


Teeth part the second

Continuing the whole orthodontia thing, I just wanted to comment on the fact that my bottom teeth are disgustingly crooked. A couple years back, I slipped while leading a climb and whacked my chin on an outcropping (though still completed the route, blood streaming onto my shirt. Hott.) and as a result I have a scar underneath my chin. What I didn't realise was that my teeth had been moved slightly out of alignment, and then, as they were held in place by a metal band (now, thankfully, removed), they continued to shift around this bizarre fulcrum until the teeth on either side of it had put their roots together like a V, forcing my poor other tooth to project backwards. I'm terrified it's going to fall out at some point. There's always the fear when I'm eating something that my tooth has just popped on out.

It was interesting-- my friend Liza dressed up as me for the Halloween reception at the Masters' residence (unimaginative costume, we know... we were in my room and lacking inspiration. I ended up dressed as a hick in cowboy boots, denim skirt and pigtails. The outfit featured a SEXY HAT. A sexy orange plaid hat. I love it.) and we were trying to get her to emulate some of my expressions and movements. She had changed the part in her hair for the role, and had been entrusted with my favourite clothes, so why not go whole hog? Anyway, there was something wrong, and we eventually realised it was because her smile shows her bottom teeth, and I never, ever, ever show mine, or else the world will be exposed to THE FLAW! that are my bottom teeth. Gah. I hate my teeth so much, I have vaguely contemplated in my deepest darkest most half-asleep moments getting them all taken out and getting a set of dentures. Other women obsess about their thighs... I do that too, but the self- irritation is mainly fixed firmly in the dental department.


At 7:03 PM, November 02, 2005, Anonymous JP said...

As always, your aesthetic concerns are thoroughly unfounded. Dentes tui sicut grex ovium, quae ascenderunt de lavacro,
omnes gemellis foetibus, et sterilis non est in eis.

At 11:50 AM, November 03, 2005, Blogger Amichai said...

One of my biggest fears actually deals with both teeth and thighs, though not so much in any aesthetic sense.

At 12:09 PM, November 03, 2005, Blogger Alex said...



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