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Hypersynaesthesia

the colours in your head

11.01.2005

New Orthodontic Horizons

I grew disgusted with the state of my smile today, and so donned my trusty old retainer that has been kicking around the bottom of my beauty case ever since I got it back in uhhhh... 2000. Excruciating pain aside, it's firstly rather sad that my teeth move about this easily, and then secondly very sad that my mother shelled out big bucks to have me end up with a crappy bite and a big gap between my front teeth. Admittedly, it's a smaller gap than used to be there, back in my rabbitlike younger days, and I no longer have the uneven front tooth chippage caused by the unfortunate guy in my fourth grade class swinging his swimming goggles into my mouth while we were in the pool during the class trip to Normandy, but frankly, I have awful teeth. I would make a horrible horse.

In other news...my feet are cold. I'm permanently tired. I have no money, so I have a large pile of laundry and nothing to do them with... actually, I may be able to scrape together enough for one load. This is pathetic. I feel rather like a corpse warmed over, but I suspect that is merely because I am feeling the depression of having a retainer in my mouth like a 16 year old. It was kind of cute on Lolita, but if I dare show up at Jon's sporting it, I strongly suspect that he will just show me the door, no questions asked.

Hmmm... late on the horizon to realise this, I know, but I've been messing around with the voice settings on my new computer, and my god, but they all sound like figments of my most horrendously surreal nightmares. The ones that start out with scenes taken from the trauma of my having viewed Dune at an early age, and so I had bad dreams feauring.... Sand dunes. Lots and lots of them. And then insidious whisperings in my inner ear, and babies sitting on gratings being covered in red liquid. The crazy computer voices fit right in with the unintelligible things being said to me.

Anyway, last night part of my dream involved getting sucked down into the Mariana Trench by a group of dolphins who claimed to be friendly, but seemed to have evil intent. It was all very scary. I feared for my life, but I had to trust old grandpa dolphin-- if I couldn't trust him, who could I trust? Besides, he had a coronet with rare sea-gems set in it.

3 Comments:

At 9:46 PM, November 01, 2005, Blogger jerng said...

very nice.

 
At 1:17 AM, November 02, 2005, Anonymous naridu said...

ugh, you are not alone in the retainer stakes. I have one tooth that will slip out of place if I stop wearing my nightly mouthguard (this is the best description I can give, it's not metal but a clear plastic mouthguard holding all in place during the night). Also if I try to leave the bastard thing out for a few nights in a row I end up with awful headaches as the moving tooth makes itself known.
Orthadontists are bastards.

 
At 11:37 AM, November 02, 2005, Blogger Amichai said...

I stopped wearing my retainer years and years ago, and finally when I realized what a mistake that had been it was too late and it wouldn't fit in my mouth. Now I have a crooked tooth right up front on my lower jaw. I fear that one day if I ever have money again I'll need not only to wear a retainer but (shudder) braces to fix it.

And personally, I have a hard time trusting any sort of aquatic life that wears hats.

 

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