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Hypersynaesthesia

the colours in your head

4.19.2005

Damn right, he's better than yours.

Reasons why my boyfriend can beat up your boyfriend (Given a knife, adequate preparation time, and full-body armour):

-His glasses, when in the sun, turn dark and make him look like a less-brutish KGB agent.

-He also has a spy-like coat to match.

-His pants come up to the sexy (yet very appropriate) height of 1 finger below the bellybutton.

- An explanation of just what it is he does requires ten minutes and a lot of "huh?"s.

- His Croatian sounds like Russian on crack, and his English sounds like... English on crack. 19th century crack.

- He could probably write an etiquette manual from memory, but at the same time is very good at doing cute little happy dances.
- He lets me tie ribbons around his wrist. And he will occasionally make gang signs or speak American, if I cajole him with my patented Italian powers of persuasion. But he will not let me untuck his shirt.


- He could probably kill someone with the power of his scornful looks.

- Or explode things with his mind, if he tried hard enough.

- He tells me about the mating habits of adelgids, with special emphasis to their relationship to the bacteria Wolbachia and actually makes it interesting, thus negating all the lovely naptime I had in bio class and making my life a total waste.

- He feeds my immense chocolate habit, and rubs my tummy when it hurts after I've pigged out on Korean food.

-He likes cats, a lot. Which is important. At the same time, he puts up with my propensity for talking to cute dogs in batlike squeaks of excitement.

-He believes his centimetre-long hair has the power to become messy, yet has never commented on the fact that I generally look like I've just rolled off the back of the truck from Hippyville and instead appears pleased with my general appearance.

-It takes him 27 minutes and 343298473928749387 words to convey any sentiment.

-He has uttered the phrases: " I have a veritable compendium of sweaters" and "I shall now apply my watch."

WITH A STRAIGHT FACE.

-His protruding rib cage corresponds quite nicely to my liking for boys of the skeletal variety. And... his bellybutton is cute.

-He doesn't mind my snoopiness and lets me read his emails over his shoulder.

- I can sleep comfortably next to him with only minimal trashing and adjusting of positions. Even though he does like to squish me against the wall.

In short, he's pretty darn great. Heeee. Happy happy happy.

The sappiness will stop, I swear.

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