How to Piss off your Girlfriend, by Jon R.

1. Wait until she is writing a paper, preferably on something ludicrous like "Jewish gangsters in 1920s Odessa and their similarities to Biblical strongmen such as Samson."

1a. Preferably it should also be somewhere on the BAD side of midnight. And the paper should be due the next day. Less than one page written is good, too. She should be doing such things as blogging and checking email. For, you know, research purposes.

2. Silently will her to forget everything she ever learned about writing footnotes. Wait until she asks about something complex.

3. Gleefully announce that you only have to write two more papers in your life, ever.

4. Sit back and wait for her to describe PRECISELY how you can go fuck yourself.