The Bulgarians are coming!
This school is officially overpopulated with Bulgarians. Today, while hanging out with my friend Boris, also hailing from that fair nation (where my mother was once roped into being the "lovely assistant" in a knife throwing demonstration) we ran in to not one, not two, but SIX of his countrymen! With a school population of 6000, and with Bulgaria being in a way a small and random nation, I must say that those odds are a little off.
One of the aforementioned Bulgarians, a very unfortunate mathematician, discovered (through Boris) that I have a stumbling acquaintance with the Russian language and chose to call out to me in Winthrop dining hall as I was scurrying down there today, ready to grab my enchilada and run back to my room. Speaking all the time in heavily accented Russian, he forced me to sit down at his table, where he began to sing "Katyusha", a very lovely folk song which was a little out of place in the dining hall. To add upon the horror, my former crush from the beginning of the school year was sitting at the table behind me. He gave us a weird look, which grew even weirder when the Bulgarian discovered I was Italian and started declaiming Dante. I sat there and profoundly cursed dead Florentines.